Leave Something For Tomorrow

There was a time, not long ago, when I was debating the merits of going back to work. A long series of illnesses had kept me at home for years and then, when I finally recovered, my husband said he would rather I didn't go back. I have to admit the thought of going back out there to deal with the pressures of a job was more than a little intimidating. So...I did the easy thing. I stayed right here. But what, exactly is here?...

A computer, to be sure. As well as books. Lots and lots of books on many subjects in many styles. There is a house to clean, food to prepare, and of course, there is my husband. There are movies, years of them. And there is music. Music to motivate, to soothe to contemplate and to share. All of these things are my life. Or, that is to say, the things that make my life what it is.

Seeing it all in written form, I can't help but think it looks like enough to occupy anyone for a good long time. Why then, is it not enough for me? I have isolated myself and discouraged anyone who tried to form a friendship. What do I really want? Do I want a pen-pal? I don't know. I do know the kind of relationship that is face to face in person is not a comfortable thing for me. And there is very little I detest more than talking on the telephone.

One of these days I just may figure it out. I don't believe this is the day. That's alright. It's best to leave something for tomorrow.

There is always hope.

Betty