Even I can't believe that it is possible to read a book for the second time and be positively held hostage by it . Riveted to the sound of the voice reading it and waiting with anxious expectation to see what comes next. It 's true! That 's how it has been listening to the audio version of Tripwire. Lee Child, my hat is off to you :).
As I said a few days ago, time is a rare commodity at the moment. That being said, I think I'll take the few remaining minutes I have and get back to that book.
There is always hope.
Betty
Saturday, June 30, 2007
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Reacher In Another Form
I tried. I really did. But I just couldn't go into Reacher withdrawal cold turkey. I ended up at my library today looking for anything by Lee Child in audio form. The only thing I was able to get was Tripwire. That should get me through a day or two. The others are on back-order or being shipped to my local library.
I just have to sneak in a few hours right now and see what all the buzz on the forum is about. Everyone there really seems to like the audio versions. I am sure I will too.
There is always hope.
Betty
I just have to sneak in a few hours right now and see what all the buzz on the forum is about. Everyone there really seems to like the audio versions. I am sure I will too.
There is always hope.
Betty
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Summer Steams Ahead
I may spend the majority of the year being anything from a little lonely to desperate for human contact but right now I am so busy I don't have time to be lonely. It's always this way for a couple of weeks in late June and early July. What I find really amazing is that for the most part, I seem to do pretty well with the exposure to lots of other people. For the most part...
I still tremble and shake and break out in dewy perspiration (oh please! sweat is sweat) but hey, everybody body sweats in the summer :) or nearly everybody. I would say by the end of these next two weeks I should positively glow.
A sampling of what's coming up. Neighborhood party, and let me tell you when your neighbors live 1/2 mile to 1 mile away from each other, it's a big neighborhood! Don will be busy with the business end of running as well as running a few races himself. I have promised him to be front and center for the next few weeks. Right out there for the world to see and pick apart and stare at. Well, at least that's what it feels like to me.
Anytime I am pushed into a crowd (that is more than 2 people for me) I not only suffer anxiety attacks, I also have a few little paranoia issues to deal with. Let's talk about germs. That one is a real biggie. I don't think I have discussed germs here yet. I suppose the biggest reason I have for being paranoid about germs (aside from the fact that they can kill) is that I had a few years of very bad health and I was extremely vulnerable to germs at that time. I am still prone to infection but not nearly as bad as before. It is impossible to avoid germs, no matter where you are or what you do. I know that. But I just can't help thinking about it. Not just surface germs, there are germs in food and drink and the handle of every door too...That's enough of that. I have to go shower just because I was talking about it. Yuk! I know, I am nuts.
At any rate. The next few weeks are pretty well booked, so I don't know how often I'll be able to post here. I will try but if you read this blog on a regular basis (does anyone? I doubt it) I'm sorry you won't have a lot to read for a short while. I promise to jump right back in as soon as things settle down.
There is always hope.
Betty
I still tremble and shake and break out in dewy perspiration (oh please! sweat is sweat) but hey, everybody body sweats in the summer :) or nearly everybody. I would say by the end of these next two weeks I should positively glow.
A sampling of what's coming up. Neighborhood party, and let me tell you when your neighbors live 1/2 mile to 1 mile away from each other, it's a big neighborhood! Don will be busy with the business end of running as well as running a few races himself. I have promised him to be front and center for the next few weeks. Right out there for the world to see and pick apart and stare at. Well, at least that's what it feels like to me.
Anytime I am pushed into a crowd (that is more than 2 people for me) I not only suffer anxiety attacks, I also have a few little paranoia issues to deal with. Let's talk about germs. That one is a real biggie. I don't think I have discussed germs here yet. I suppose the biggest reason I have for being paranoid about germs (aside from the fact that they can kill) is that I had a few years of very bad health and I was extremely vulnerable to germs at that time. I am still prone to infection but not nearly as bad as before. It is impossible to avoid germs, no matter where you are or what you do. I know that. But I just can't help thinking about it. Not just surface germs, there are germs in food and drink and the handle of every door too...That's enough of that. I have to go shower just because I was talking about it. Yuk! I know, I am nuts.
At any rate. The next few weeks are pretty well booked, so I don't know how often I'll be able to post here. I will try but if you read this blog on a regular basis (does anyone? I doubt it) I'm sorry you won't have a lot to read for a short while. I promise to jump right back in as soon as things settle down.
There is always hope.
Betty
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Good Old Bob White
This morning as I sat staring into my computer monitor as if mesmerized by the glow (I was short a couple of cups of coffee and not quite fully functioning yet) I heard the most thrilling sound. It was a Bobwhite quail! For me, there is no other sound that means summer more. It has been years, at least four perhaps five or six, since I last heard a bobwhite. We used to have quite a covey of them in the field next to our house but then suddenly, one year they were gone.
Bobwhite's and whippoorwill's. Their calls were as constant and common as sunshine during the long summer days of my youth.
I can remember playing in the fields and the nearby woods, and being all hot and sticky and dirty and full of energy. Turning my face up to the sun and breathing deeply the air that was filled with sun and wholesome things, like fresh mown hay and apples from the orchard. And in the background, the sound of the elusive, comforting call of the bobwhite. When I take the time to think about it, I can still recall how strong and healthy and eager my young body was at play. It thrummed with youth and hope. And even then, there were moments when I would pause long enough to acknowledge how blessed I was, how fortunate to be able to experience life as an unbridled country kid set free for the summer.
Later, after days that seemed months long, would come the cool evening of summer. The heat of the day would settle warmly in my bones and the coolness of night became a cloying blanket of dampness as the weight of the day settled round our porch. The air was heavy with the perfume of green and growing things, sweet and pungent and pulsing with energy. Not long after darkness fell we would hear the frantic cry of the whippoorwill. It would be there in the same tree all summer long and would be our lullaby every night.
I had intended to write a review of Bad Luck and Trouble by Lee Child today, but time is short at the moment and it will have to wait for another day. For now, I think I'll just sit here with evening coming on and darkness fast approaching, and listen. Maybe I will hear a whippoorwill tonight.
There is always hope.
Betty
Bobwhite's and whippoorwill's. Their calls were as constant and common as sunshine during the long summer days of my youth.
I can remember playing in the fields and the nearby woods, and being all hot and sticky and dirty and full of energy. Turning my face up to the sun and breathing deeply the air that was filled with sun and wholesome things, like fresh mown hay and apples from the orchard. And in the background, the sound of the elusive, comforting call of the bobwhite. When I take the time to think about it, I can still recall how strong and healthy and eager my young body was at play. It thrummed with youth and hope. And even then, there were moments when I would pause long enough to acknowledge how blessed I was, how fortunate to be able to experience life as an unbridled country kid set free for the summer.
Later, after days that seemed months long, would come the cool evening of summer. The heat of the day would settle warmly in my bones and the coolness of night became a cloying blanket of dampness as the weight of the day settled round our porch. The air was heavy with the perfume of green and growing things, sweet and pungent and pulsing with energy. Not long after darkness fell we would hear the frantic cry of the whippoorwill. It would be there in the same tree all summer long and would be our lullaby every night.
I had intended to write a review of Bad Luck and Trouble by Lee Child today, but time is short at the moment and it will have to wait for another day. For now, I think I'll just sit here with evening coming on and darkness fast approaching, and listen. Maybe I will hear a whippoorwill tonight.
There is always hope.
Betty
Friday, June 22, 2007
Well That's Done!
The housecleaning and laundry that is. There are days when I really wonder why I wanted so badly to get married when I was a teenager. This would be one of them, well...for a minute or two, just before I finally got a chance to sit down and have lunch with my husband and, wouldn't you know it? Inside three minutes he not only reminded why I so desperately wanted to marry him, he also reminded why I love him.
I'm not sure if it is silly or sweet, the way little things make such a difference in the day to day hum drum life of a country housewife. I am sure that I am grateful for each and every silly moment we have.
I really did have quite a busy morning and I also walked two miles on my treadmill (ugh!). I was sort of grumbling to myself because I had to stop and make Don his lunch... (Several things now come to mind concerning the "having to stop and make lunch" thing. First, he is a grown man, quite capable of preparing his own meals. Second, he had been working all morning too. Third it did give my back a much needed break. ) So there we sat talking about whatever it was, then there was a lull in the conversation and we suddenly noticed a robin in the tree near the kitchen was raising a truly horrendous ruckus. Don grinned and said, "I had a long talk with a robin in that tree earlier, when I was picking up a fallen branch. I told him just to pipe down. I am the one who pays the taxes on this place!"
And there you have it. My heart went, ah... sigh... That's why I him love so. He is so real. How many grown men will admit to talking to a bird in a tree? Or one better, how many men would take the time to stop and save a poor little bird that was frozen to a tree branch in the dead of winter? My Don did, and that is why I married him. I only hope that I occasionally remind him why he loves me and why we married :-).
On to other things. Last night I finally finished Bad Luck and Trouble by Lee Child. I have to say it. What a book! The whole thing. From 3,000 feet above the desert floor, to the pedantically minded school teacher from Reacher's childhood, to good-byes at LAX, it was, well...thrilling. Slainte, Lee. Congratulations on another job well done.
All things must end, and I have to go now.
There is always hope.
Betty
I'm not sure if it is silly or sweet, the way little things make such a difference in the day to day hum drum life of a country housewife. I am sure that I am grateful for each and every silly moment we have.
I really did have quite a busy morning and I also walked two miles on my treadmill (ugh!). I was sort of grumbling to myself because I had to stop and make Don his lunch... (Several things now come to mind concerning the "having to stop and make lunch" thing. First, he is a grown man, quite capable of preparing his own meals. Second, he had been working all morning too. Third it did give my back a much needed break. ) So there we sat talking about whatever it was, then there was a lull in the conversation and we suddenly noticed a robin in the tree near the kitchen was raising a truly horrendous ruckus. Don grinned and said, "I had a long talk with a robin in that tree earlier, when I was picking up a fallen branch. I told him just to pipe down. I am the one who pays the taxes on this place!"
And there you have it. My heart went, ah... sigh... That's why I him love so. He is so real. How many grown men will admit to talking to a bird in a tree? Or one better, how many men would take the time to stop and save a poor little bird that was frozen to a tree branch in the dead of winter? My Don did, and that is why I married him. I only hope that I occasionally remind him why he loves me and why we married :-).
On to other things. Last night I finally finished Bad Luck and Trouble by Lee Child. I have to say it. What a book! The whole thing. From 3,000 feet above the desert floor, to the pedantically minded school teacher from Reacher's childhood, to good-byes at LAX, it was, well...thrilling. Slainte, Lee. Congratulations on another job well done.
All things must end, and I have to go now.
There is always hope.
Betty
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Happy Summer Solstice
Thank heavens, we have arrived. The summer solstice is today! I must tell you, if it hasn't been the sun and moon and the stars filling my brain with perpetual fog, I don't know what else it could be.
As I mentioned previously, I can't recall the solstice having had a negative effect on my emotional state in the past. Which kind of set me to thinking about those silly superstitions concerning the full moon and things like astronomy. For me, I have noticed in the past that the full moon in April and September usually make me feel a little out of whack. My bad temper, which for the most part is hardly noticeable, rears it's nasty head in the days immediately surrounding those lunar events. And then, being forewarned, I strive to keep my temper in-check. Here is my question. During all those other months of the year when I notice no marked difference in my mood or attitude, does that mean the sun and the moon and the stars are a positive influence? Curious, isn't it?
You must be wondering where on earth I come up with some of these things :). I believe I am happier as a person, living on a more cerebral plain. A place where I can process everything I see and hear and do. I can examine my own reactions and what I perceive to be the reactions of others, and I file these impressions into the appropriate category. Once filed away my busy little mind becomes quite loquaciously thrilled with the new fodder. One of the greatest things about living inwardly as opposed to outwardly is the luxury (some might call it a liability) to make decisions fairly quickly. After all, I have experienced a fair share of most things so far in my lifetime, happiness, stress, sadness, fear, pain and even uncertainty. The biggest lesson I have learned to this point is, when a decision is required, make one and don't look back. I am a bridge burner.
As for this day, let it stretch out and last a good long time. It is the longest day of the year and of course that means the days will once again become shorter as summer swings to autumn. Yes, let it last. I have survived the haze this long. Another few hours will not matter in the least.
If my theory about the solstice is correct, tomorrow I will be able to tell you what I think of Lee Child's, Bad Luck and Trouble.
There is always hope.
Betty
As I mentioned previously, I can't recall the solstice having had a negative effect on my emotional state in the past. Which kind of set me to thinking about those silly superstitions concerning the full moon and things like astronomy. For me, I have noticed in the past that the full moon in April and September usually make me feel a little out of whack. My bad temper, which for the most part is hardly noticeable, rears it's nasty head in the days immediately surrounding those lunar events. And then, being forewarned, I strive to keep my temper in-check. Here is my question. During all those other months of the year when I notice no marked difference in my mood or attitude, does that mean the sun and the moon and the stars are a positive influence? Curious, isn't it?
You must be wondering where on earth I come up with some of these things :). I believe I am happier as a person, living on a more cerebral plain. A place where I can process everything I see and hear and do. I can examine my own reactions and what I perceive to be the reactions of others, and I file these impressions into the appropriate category. Once filed away my busy little mind becomes quite loquaciously thrilled with the new fodder. One of the greatest things about living inwardly as opposed to outwardly is the luxury (some might call it a liability) to make decisions fairly quickly. After all, I have experienced a fair share of most things so far in my lifetime, happiness, stress, sadness, fear, pain and even uncertainty. The biggest lesson I have learned to this point is, when a decision is required, make one and don't look back. I am a bridge burner.
As for this day, let it stretch out and last a good long time. It is the longest day of the year and of course that means the days will once again become shorter as summer swings to autumn. Yes, let it last. I have survived the haze this long. Another few hours will not matter in the least.
If my theory about the solstice is correct, tomorrow I will be able to tell you what I think of Lee Child's, Bad Luck and Trouble.
There is always hope.
Betty
Monday, June 18, 2007
Don't Mean To Disappoint
I truly do not mean to disappoint anyone out there who may read this blog in the hope of being, if not entertained, at least given something marginally thought provoking. For I am no stranger to the occasional malapropism and that can be entertainment enough!
It's just this haze in my mind will not clear out and let me get on with thinking properly. Call me what you will, supersticious or loony, but I honestly think once that dang nabbit summer solstice is over on Thursday, I'll be much better. Strange, I do believe we are greatly influenced by the moon and stars. To what degree I am not certain, and I do doubt the art of divination. Another oddity here is that I have never (to my uncertain memory) been effected by the summer solstice before. I do recall being surprised in April, that I was not effected by that full moon, and I usually am and the one in September as well.
Good gracious! I must sound as if I am stark raving mad. No worries. I think I am, at least for the moment. Well...the only thing I feel capable of doing at the moment is closing this blog and picking up Lee Child's Bad Luck and Trouble. (I am very sure he wouldn't like my even saying his name in my current state, I'm not sure mad fans are a good thing.)
There is always hope.
Betty
It's just this haze in my mind will not clear out and let me get on with thinking properly. Call me what you will, supersticious or loony, but I honestly think once that dang nabbit summer solstice is over on Thursday, I'll be much better. Strange, I do believe we are greatly influenced by the moon and stars. To what degree I am not certain, and I do doubt the art of divination. Another oddity here is that I have never (to my uncertain memory) been effected by the summer solstice before. I do recall being surprised in April, that I was not effected by that full moon, and I usually am and the one in September as well.
Good gracious! I must sound as if I am stark raving mad. No worries. I think I am, at least for the moment. Well...the only thing I feel capable of doing at the moment is closing this blog and picking up Lee Child's Bad Luck and Trouble. (I am very sure he wouldn't like my even saying his name in my current state, I'm not sure mad fans are a good thing.)
There is always hope.
Betty
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Apathetically Contemplative
I am not sure any other words could describe the mood I am in more concisely. I could hardly be less interested in things than I am, nor could I be more inclined toward contemplation. Both yesterday and today were a little emotionally numb. I fear I may be headed for another funk. I hope that is not the case . I have so many things that need to be done and even more that I want to do.
I have not been walking as often as I should. I enjoy sitting in front of this monitor too much to give up my best exercise. If it weren't for walking I probably wouldn't walk more than a quarter mile a day. So...come Monday I have got to get back to that.
Silly as this sounds, I can't remember what we did yesterday. I think we puttered around the house, but I don't remember that clearly. Hm... What's that all about?
Another indicator that I may be heading toward the gray area is that I am having a terrible time trying to read Bad Luck and Trouble. Never think it is because of the writing. Lee Child, as I have often said, is brilliant. No. I am having trouble concentrating on the page. My mind is going ten million miles an hour. Everything is buzzzing around in there so fast the only thing I can hear is static. Maybe I'm loosing my mind. Thinking coherently is, at the moment, physically draining. I'm not even sure I am coherent.
Things will look better in a day or two. Maybe it's all due to the approaching summer solstice.
There is always hope.
Betty
I have not been walking as often as I should. I enjoy sitting in front of this monitor too much to give up my best exercise. If it weren't for walking I probably wouldn't walk more than a quarter mile a day. So...come Monday I have got to get back to that.
Silly as this sounds, I can't remember what we did yesterday. I think we puttered around the house, but I don't remember that clearly. Hm... What's that all about?
Another indicator that I may be heading toward the gray area is that I am having a terrible time trying to read Bad Luck and Trouble. Never think it is because of the writing. Lee Child, as I have often said, is brilliant. No. I am having trouble concentrating on the page. My mind is going ten million miles an hour. Everything is buzzzing around in there so fast the only thing I can hear is static. Maybe I'm loosing my mind. Thinking coherently is, at the moment, physically draining. I'm not even sure I am coherent.
Things will look better in a day or two. Maybe it's all due to the approaching summer solstice.
There is always hope.
Betty
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Sorry To Say No Progress On BL&T
Goodness, what a day. My back and shoulder are killing me. It's nice to finally sit down and relax.
Don had planned to go out with some running friends today, he changed his mind and stayed home. We both got a few things done that needed doing. We took some things to Goodwill, dropped off the mail and got ice cream. The ice cream part was exceptionally good. Then when we got back home, we got down to the business of home ownership. Lawn mower maintenance for him, cleaning house for me. Just in case anyone out there has forgotten, I'll remind you, cleaning house may be mindless work but it is very hard work. Ah well, I survived. :)
What, you ask, of Lee Child and Reacher? Alas, I did not stay up all night reading. As a matter of fact I went to bed comparatively early. My eyes were crossing, so there was no point in staying up. I don't think I could have read a 36 point font by the time I went to bed.
Don is out at the moment visiting friends from his running club and so I am getting ready to tuck into BL&T. I hope I can stay awake! If I can't it most certainly will not be the fault of Lee or Reacher. This is a very good book.
There is always hope.
Betty
Don had planned to go out with some running friends today, he changed his mind and stayed home. We both got a few things done that needed doing. We took some things to Goodwill, dropped off the mail and got ice cream. The ice cream part was exceptionally good. Then when we got back home, we got down to the business of home ownership. Lawn mower maintenance for him, cleaning house for me. Just in case anyone out there has forgotten, I'll remind you, cleaning house may be mindless work but it is very hard work. Ah well, I survived. :)
What, you ask, of Lee Child and Reacher? Alas, I did not stay up all night reading. As a matter of fact I went to bed comparatively early. My eyes were crossing, so there was no point in staying up. I don't think I could have read a 36 point font by the time I went to bed.
Don is out at the moment visiting friends from his running club and so I am getting ready to tuck into BL&T. I hope I can stay awake! If I can't it most certainly will not be the fault of Lee or Reacher. This is a very good book.
There is always hope.
Betty
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Happy Anniversary To Me
Today marks my one year anniversary of quitting smoking. A huge accomplishment, I proudly pat myself on the back :).
In proper celebratory fashion, Don proclaimed this to be My Day. We spent the entire day together and I can say I was not lonely for one moment. It was great fun. We went to the movies and watched a double-header. First was Miss Potter. I do love that movie, it is definitely on the top of my To Buy list. Then we saw 300. Not my idea of entertainment at all. My biggest complaint was the volume. I had never been in a theater with the volume so loud my ears hurt until today. Still in all, it was fun to go to the cheap show. We finished our day out by having dinner at one of our favorite restaurants. And here we are. It was a good day.
Tomorrow is another story and I'll see how that goes when the time comes. A quick note on last nights entertainment. We rented The Queen. Really a very good movie. We both gave it five stars.
Now for Reacher, I am afraid I am in for a very long night tonight. I have reached chapter 22 and I know if I pick that book up again this evening, Lee Child will have me up all night. Listen to me, there are worse fates than spending the night with Reacher (as long as you are in his good graces) and his old gang. I don't have to feel guilty. One of Don's favorite magazines came in the mail today. His nose will be buried nearly as deeply as mine in print, so hey, a girls gotta live.
There is always hope.
Betty
In proper celebratory fashion, Don proclaimed this to be My Day. We spent the entire day together and I can say I was not lonely for one moment. It was great fun. We went to the movies and watched a double-header. First was Miss Potter. I do love that movie, it is definitely on the top of my To Buy list. Then we saw 300. Not my idea of entertainment at all. My biggest complaint was the volume. I had never been in a theater with the volume so loud my ears hurt until today. Still in all, it was fun to go to the cheap show. We finished our day out by having dinner at one of our favorite restaurants. And here we are. It was a good day.
Tomorrow is another story and I'll see how that goes when the time comes. A quick note on last nights entertainment. We rented The Queen. Really a very good movie. We both gave it five stars.
Now for Reacher, I am afraid I am in for a very long night tonight. I have reached chapter 22 and I know if I pick that book up again this evening, Lee Child will have me up all night. Listen to me, there are worse fates than spending the night with Reacher (as long as you are in his good graces) and his old gang. I don't have to feel guilty. One of Don's favorite magazines came in the mail today. His nose will be buried nearly as deeply as mine in print, so hey, a girls gotta live.
There is always hope.
Betty
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Like many other people, it has been years since we last took a true vacation. In our case that would be defined as a vacation not associated with a running race (marathon, 5 or 10K or any other foot race) and or the business of running. I think it is extraordinarily interesting that so many people don't take vacations. It seems the more time we save ourselves, the less time we have. Time is really the largest part of the problem for us. However, we shall soon be vacationing by the sea. One advantage of not taking a vacation as often as we might like is that we are determined to do it the right way when we do. So...getting ready for vacation will give me something to do in the next few weeks.
I read another chapter from BL&T this morning. It is building up nicely,. I will admit to being very curious about some of the comments made on Lee Child's forum. I have read (mostly) good reviews and a few complaints, accompanied by a few of what I am sure must have been very biased views against Reacher's character. So far in the book, I have seen nothing to merit the criticism against either Lee Child or Reacher. But, I admit to be biased in favor of them.
This is the first day since Homer and Irene left that I feel firmly back in my little niche. Thank goodness, things are once again on even ground. Most days, Don spends a few hours running or otherwise involved with the business of running. I putter around the house and scribble out a few paragraphs for my book, I love the thought of seeing if I can come up with a thriller worthy of the name :) and I write a little something here. A nice quiet life. Minimum stress and comfortable levels of stimulation for the old brain. Things line up nicely sometimes, don't they?
Now, I don't want to overload you with stimulus, but I am once again off to do something productive. I think I will sort through my closets and see what needs to go to Goodwill. Sorry, I suddenly seem to be a little distracted.
There is always hope.
Betty
I read another chapter from BL&T this morning. It is building up nicely,. I will admit to being very curious about some of the comments made on Lee Child's forum. I have read (mostly) good reviews and a few complaints, accompanied by a few of what I am sure must have been very biased views against Reacher's character. So far in the book, I have seen nothing to merit the criticism against either Lee Child or Reacher. But, I admit to be biased in favor of them.
This is the first day since Homer and Irene left that I feel firmly back in my little niche. Thank goodness, things are once again on even ground. Most days, Don spends a few hours running or otherwise involved with the business of running. I putter around the house and scribble out a few paragraphs for my book, I love the thought of seeing if I can come up with a thriller worthy of the name :) and I write a little something here. A nice quiet life. Minimum stress and comfortable levels of stimulation for the old brain. Things line up nicely sometimes, don't they?
Now, I don't want to overload you with stimulus, but I am once again off to do something productive. I think I will sort through my closets and see what needs to go to Goodwill. Sorry, I suddenly seem to be a little distracted.
There is always hope.
Betty
Monday, June 11, 2007
Bad Luck and Trouble
At last. Today I started reading Bad Luck and Trouble. I have only made it to chapter 8, but I have to tell you...so far so very good! I wish we could clone Lee Child so we could get Reacher books more quickly :).
I just can't help myself. I am off. Reacher is calling my name :)
There is always hope.
Betty
I just can't help myself. I am off. Reacher is calling my name :)
There is always hope.
Betty
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Leave Something For Tomorrow
There was a time, not long ago, when I was debating the merits of going back to work. A long series of illnesses had kept me at home for years and then, when I finally recovered, my husband said he would rather I didn't go back. I have to admit the thought of going back out there to deal with the pressures of a job was more than a little intimidating. So...I did the easy thing. I stayed right here. But what, exactly is here?...
A computer, to be sure. As well as books. Lots and lots of books on many subjects in many styles. There is a house to clean, food to prepare, and of course, there is my husband. There are movies, years of them. And there is music. Music to motivate, to soothe to contemplate and to share. All of these things are my life. Or, that is to say, the things that make my life what it is.
Seeing it all in written form, I can't help but think it looks like enough to occupy anyone for a good long time. Why then, is it not enough for me? I have isolated myself and discouraged anyone who tried to form a friendship. What do I really want? Do I want a pen-pal? I don't know. I do know the kind of relationship that is face to face in person is not a comfortable thing for me. And there is very little I detest more than talking on the telephone.
One of these days I just may figure it out. I don't believe this is the day. That's alright. It's best to leave something for tomorrow.
There is always hope.
Betty
A computer, to be sure. As well as books. Lots and lots of books on many subjects in many styles. There is a house to clean, food to prepare, and of course, there is my husband. There are movies, years of them. And there is music. Music to motivate, to soothe to contemplate and to share. All of these things are my life. Or, that is to say, the things that make my life what it is.
Seeing it all in written form, I can't help but think it looks like enough to occupy anyone for a good long time. Why then, is it not enough for me? I have isolated myself and discouraged anyone who tried to form a friendship. What do I really want? Do I want a pen-pal? I don't know. I do know the kind of relationship that is face to face in person is not a comfortable thing for me. And there is very little I detest more than talking on the telephone.
One of these days I just may figure it out. I don't believe this is the day. That's alright. It's best to leave something for tomorrow.
There is always hope.
Betty
Desperate Introspection
As always, after a harrowing experience (such as having overnight guests) I find myself engaged in desperate introspection. Can there be any hope for me as a worthwhile person? I do believe a person would have to be petty and cruel to harbor ill feelings toward someone so old and bitterly sad that they could not even defend themselves ( in a war of words ). I thank God that I do not harbor those kinds of feelings, I do not believe frustration can be placed in the same realm as cruelty. Who would not become frustrated by constant bickering? Though I do believe frustration can drive a person to be less than courteous.
Oh...why desperate introspection? Because I have lost all hope of ever understanding Homer and Irene. They make me look at my own marriage, and I must confess, I see through jaundiced eyes after an encounter with them. As I said in a previous post, the very thought of another 20 or 30 years terrifies me. I want to run, screaming and firing live rounds from a Mossberg Persuader at the specters that haunt my future. (Sorry, I kind of lapsed into Reacher mode there for a minute.)
I do have some exciting news! I received my Reacher toothbrush! It is everything I had hoped for :-). (Well, I admit my expectations were low.) It now sits proudly on display on my Lee Child shelf in the bookcase. What fun. Sometimes, it really is the little things that make it all worth the fuss and bother. While I am at it (going on about Lee Child and Reacher that is) I may as well relay the information that I have finished reading "The Hard Way" for the second time. I don't plan to start "Bad Luck and Trouble" for a few days (oh alright, you know me too well) I want to be sure there will be no interruptions once I get started. I know it will be a marathon reading.
There is always hope.
Betty
Oh...why desperate introspection? Because I have lost all hope of ever understanding Homer and Irene. They make me look at my own marriage, and I must confess, I see through jaundiced eyes after an encounter with them. As I said in a previous post, the very thought of another 20 or 30 years terrifies me. I want to run, screaming and firing live rounds from a Mossberg Persuader at the specters that haunt my future. (Sorry, I kind of lapsed into Reacher mode there for a minute.)
I do have some exciting news! I received my Reacher toothbrush! It is everything I had hoped for :-). (Well, I admit my expectations were low.) It now sits proudly on display on my Lee Child shelf in the bookcase. What fun. Sometimes, it really is the little things that make it all worth the fuss and bother. While I am at it (going on about Lee Child and Reacher that is) I may as well relay the information that I have finished reading "The Hard Way" for the second time. I don't plan to start "Bad Luck and Trouble" for a few days (oh alright, you know me too well) I want to be sure there will be no interruptions once I get started. I know it will be a marathon reading.
There is always hope.
Betty
Friday, June 8, 2007
Still In Recovery Mode
My goodness, I can't believe how very tired I am.
In fact, the very word amazes me. It is such a small word for a very big problem. Big, meaning inconvenient. If a person has the luxury of giving in to the feeling, it makes getting things done a bit of a problem. Who wants to make beds and clean the bathroom when they are this tired? Certainly not me. I guess I have no choice but to watch "Shirley Valentine" with Don. I don't think I could stay awake to read. Not even a Lee Child novel like "The Hard Way".
It is unlike me to have nothing to say here. But that is where I am at today. I know things will be better tomorrow. Having overnight guests really took it out of me (whatever "it" is supposed to be) and I need one more evening in recovery mode to get "it" back.
There is always hope.
Betty
In fact, the very word amazes me. It is such a small word for a very big problem. Big, meaning inconvenient. If a person has the luxury of giving in to the feeling, it makes getting things done a bit of a problem. Who wants to make beds and clean the bathroom when they are this tired? Certainly not me. I guess I have no choice but to watch "Shirley Valentine" with Don. I don't think I could stay awake to read. Not even a Lee Child novel like "The Hard Way".
It is unlike me to have nothing to say here. But that is where I am at today. I know things will be better tomorrow. Having overnight guests really took it out of me (whatever "it" is supposed to be) and I need one more evening in recovery mode to get "it" back.
There is always hope.
Betty
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
That's Better
How frustrated can a person be? If I get much more stressed out I think I'll explode.
Don left last night for a few hours, there I was again, in charge of entertainment. He was gone all morning this morning, he left right after breakfast and didn't return until 12:30. How is it possible to be a good hostess when your guests do not want to do a thing? I know the flaw is my own. They have made it perfectly clear that they neither want or need to be entertained. I positively can not just sit there and say or do nothing, or worse yet, talk about mind numbing topics for hours on end. The subjects would be interesting if they could say two words in each others company without arguing about it and the bickering is so disturbing that my mind locks in the numb position until they stop. The sad thing is that I would very much like to ask them both questions about their childhood and life experiences but it is impossible to carry on a normal conversation when they are both in the same room.
Don left last night for a few hours, there I was again, in charge of entertainment. He was gone all morning this morning, he left right after breakfast and didn't return until 12:30. How is it possible to be a good hostess when your guests do not want to do a thing? I know the flaw is my own. They have made it perfectly clear that they neither want or need to be entertained. I positively can not just sit there and say or do nothing, or worse yet, talk about mind numbing topics for hours on end. The subjects would be interesting if they could say two words in each others company without arguing about it and the bickering is so disturbing that my mind locks in the numb position until they stop. The sad thing is that I would very much like to ask them both questions about their childhood and life experiences but it is impossible to carry on a normal conversation when they are both in the same room.
At least the three of them are listening to the old phonograph right now. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, I just can't see it yet.
There is always hope.
Betty
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
Homer and Irene
Every time we are with Homer and Irene, I look at them and see us in another 30 years. How could I not? Granted, Don is much more active than Homer was at the same age, but still. Apparently people muddle along fairly content with their abilities and accomplishments until, boom, out of the blue they wake up one morning and find they can't even put on their own socks. What a terrible thing that must be.
I use Homer and Irene as the yard stick against which I measure life and aging. They are the oldest couple I know and have been married nearly 60 years. I am certain anyone who encountered them for the first time (as a fly on the wall) would think they dislike each other immensely, and that is probably true. I don't believe I have ever seen a tender moment between them. Affection is, I believe, alien to them . They really do frighten me when I think about 50 or 60 years of marriage, 50 or 60 years with the same irritating habits and character traits. I am not talking about Don. I am talking about me. For the love of Montgomery, I know I must drive him mad now. What will he feel like in another 20 or 30 years? It is too terrible to contemplate.
They say (whoever they are) that getting old is better than the alternative. I would be willing to bet Irene doesn't think so. She told me she was ready to die when she was in her mid sixties. I can't help but think that would be a miserable way to live. Just think of all the things she missed out on in the past fifteen years that she could have done then, but is incapable of doing now. Think of all the beautiful things she must have seen and heard but was not able to feel them. And as for Homer, I think he is very bitter. Age, is a tough pill to swallow, he says. Now they just sit around waiting to die. This is too sad to talk about.
It looks as though they may be going home Wednesday or Thursday. Bless their hearts. I really do love them. Don and I are just unaccustomed to having house guests for more than a few hours at a time. He is just as frustrated as I am. I only wanted the three of them to have some time together because there is no way of knowing how much time they have left. Yes, I admit to having encouraged this visit. Don is my only family and I don't ever want him to regret not having spent time with his family. I guess that is for them to come to terms with and not for me to interfere. I have been taught my lesson on this topic and I will not soon forget it.
There is always hope.
Betty
I use Homer and Irene as the yard stick against which I measure life and aging. They are the oldest couple I know and have been married nearly 60 years. I am certain anyone who encountered them for the first time (as a fly on the wall) would think they dislike each other immensely, and that is probably true. I don't believe I have ever seen a tender moment between them. Affection is, I believe, alien to them . They really do frighten me when I think about 50 or 60 years of marriage, 50 or 60 years with the same irritating habits and character traits. I am not talking about Don. I am talking about me. For the love of Montgomery, I know I must drive him mad now. What will he feel like in another 20 or 30 years? It is too terrible to contemplate.
They say (whoever they are) that getting old is better than the alternative. I would be willing to bet Irene doesn't think so. She told me she was ready to die when she was in her mid sixties. I can't help but think that would be a miserable way to live. Just think of all the things she missed out on in the past fifteen years that she could have done then, but is incapable of doing now. Think of all the beautiful things she must have seen and heard but was not able to feel them. And as for Homer, I think he is very bitter. Age, is a tough pill to swallow, he says. Now they just sit around waiting to die. This is too sad to talk about.
It looks as though they may be going home Wednesday or Thursday. Bless their hearts. I really do love them. Don and I are just unaccustomed to having house guests for more than a few hours at a time. He is just as frustrated as I am. I only wanted the three of them to have some time together because there is no way of knowing how much time they have left. Yes, I admit to having encouraged this visit. Don is my only family and I don't ever want him to regret not having spent time with his family. I guess that is for them to come to terms with and not for me to interfere. I have been taught my lesson on this topic and I will not soon forget it.
There is always hope.
Betty
Monday, June 4, 2007
Confusing Conundrum
A quiet moment; a pause in the demanding job of hostess. These moments are rare. It would be silly to pass up this opportunity to explore the conundrum I am facing. So...onward, let us explore.
The title of this blog suggests that I am a lonely person, that assumption is re-enforced in the header. It is true. I spend what feels to me like a terrible quantity of time alone. I am convinced Don would much rather watch television, run or go to the dentist than listen to my inane babbling. So, now that I have what amounts to a captive audience, why don't I talk my fool head off? Answer: because they don't want to hear my opinions any more than he does. Do I want to hear their opinion? Most assuredly, yes. Nevertheless, it is impossible to have a conversation with Homer or Irene. Whatever the topic, they have an opinion and it is the only opinion that counts. They will not be swayed. They are not interested in hearing another view. That may sound harsh but I must remind you that this blog is about discovery and I have discovered that pointing the finger inward can lead to new insight of the outward world. Moreover, I believe that most people think their own views are the only view that really matter. And, it would seem, they are correct. It is one of the characteristics that define us as individuals.
This visit from them has reminded me that being alone is not always a bad thing. Particularly when the alternative is one opinionated person being confined with other opinionated people and none of them are accustomed to spending more than a couple of hours in company. I really have to say I do love them, they are good, honest and caring people. I think the bottom line is, we have too much in common.
Don is lousy at multitasking. There is absolutely no way he can entertain the both of them. And he can only manage one for a very short period of time. Bless his heart. Don't think poorly of me. He reads this blog.
Oh, I am so confused. If I am lonely, why am I not thrilled to have company? I should be doing the Snoopy dance and singing. Maybe tomorrow.
There is always hope.
Betty
The title of this blog suggests that I am a lonely person, that assumption is re-enforced in the header. It is true. I spend what feels to me like a terrible quantity of time alone. I am convinced Don would much rather watch television, run or go to the dentist than listen to my inane babbling. So, now that I have what amounts to a captive audience, why don't I talk my fool head off? Answer: because they don't want to hear my opinions any more than he does. Do I want to hear their opinion? Most assuredly, yes. Nevertheless, it is impossible to have a conversation with Homer or Irene. Whatever the topic, they have an opinion and it is the only opinion that counts. They will not be swayed. They are not interested in hearing another view. That may sound harsh but I must remind you that this blog is about discovery and I have discovered that pointing the finger inward can lead to new insight of the outward world. Moreover, I believe that most people think their own views are the only view that really matter. And, it would seem, they are correct. It is one of the characteristics that define us as individuals.
This visit from them has reminded me that being alone is not always a bad thing. Particularly when the alternative is one opinionated person being confined with other opinionated people and none of them are accustomed to spending more than a couple of hours in company. I really have to say I do love them, they are good, honest and caring people. I think the bottom line is, we have too much in common.
Don is lousy at multitasking. There is absolutely no way he can entertain the both of them. And he can only manage one for a very short period of time. Bless his heart. Don't think poorly of me. He reads this blog.
Oh, I am so confused. If I am lonely, why am I not thrilled to have company? I should be doing the Snoopy dance and singing. Maybe tomorrow.
There is always hope.
Betty
Ridiculous Recrimination
Good morning. It is a beautiful day. A little on the muggy side, but it is nice and warm. I was sure summer would never come this year. In case you are wondering, I am reminding myself of the small happy things, the things that make my current sniveling state completely ridiculous. Given the opportunity, I am positive Homer and Irene's recriminations would be just as pitiful as mine. Rather than dwell on the negatives I have decided instead to look at the humorus because I believe we make a very funny foursome.
We all managed to get settled for the night last night in relative peace. I put extra bedding on the living room sofa (just in case Irene couldn't sleep in the guest bed). I waited patiently for everyone else to be comfy and cozy before I went to bed, and I was dog tired.
Naturally, a night with guests in the house could not pass without some small,insignificant incident. This morning at about 3:00, I stumbled blindly into the bathroom,(I am not kidding here) and a moment later I sat in the toilet bowl. I assume it was Homer, who failed to put the toilet seat down. No need, I am sure to carry on with that little snippet. Truly, woe is me.
This morning when I got up, Homer was up trying to find a bowl so he could make his breakfast, Don was out doing a nice long 10 mile run, and Irene waited until she heard me close the bathroom door to get up. As soon as I came out she trundled down the hall with a painful expression on her face and said, "My turn". Good morning indeed. And now? I am sneaking again to write this post because Don is back and I am sure he can entertain them for a few moments. But wait! He is headed to the shower!
I admit it. I do find a certain amount of comfort in the knowledge that as bad as things may be in the world, the trivial can still dominate.
There is always hope.
Betty
We all managed to get settled for the night last night in relative peace. I put extra bedding on the living room sofa (just in case Irene couldn't sleep in the guest bed). I waited patiently for everyone else to be comfy and cozy before I went to bed, and I was dog tired.
Naturally, a night with guests in the house could not pass without some small,insignificant incident. This morning at about 3:00, I stumbled blindly into the bathroom,(I am not kidding here) and a moment later I sat in the toilet bowl. I assume it was Homer, who failed to put the toilet seat down. No need, I am sure to carry on with that little snippet. Truly, woe is me.
This morning when I got up, Homer was up trying to find a bowl so he could make his breakfast, Don was out doing a nice long 10 mile run, and Irene waited until she heard me close the bathroom door to get up. As soon as I came out she trundled down the hall with a painful expression on her face and said, "My turn". Good morning indeed. And now? I am sneaking again to write this post because Don is back and I am sure he can entertain them for a few moments. But wait! He is headed to the shower!
I admit it. I do find a certain amount of comfort in the knowledge that as bad as things may be in the world, the trivial can still dominate.
There is always hope.
Betty
Saturday, June 2, 2007
Time to Clean House
I could not have asked for a better day to stay indoors and clean my house. It is very hot and humid here already, and it is still very early in the day. Thank goodness for AC.
Cleaning house is a good way to pass time if I have some thinking to do. It is pretty much mindless work and it encourages thought. One quirk I have about cleaning is that I have to have music playing. I would be interested to know what other people do while they clean. My mother always has the television on, for the noise. My husband seems to enjoy quiet when he is working (tends to make it difficult for us both to be contented). I have considered using my MP3 player when we are both in the house working, but that doesn't happen very often and when it does I try to play something he likes on the whole house stereo.
When there are other people about when I am cleaning, I think I must drive them mad. I am a very poky worker. My view is, why hurry? I have all the time I need to finish the job, no matter how long it takes. Consequently, I take many breaks. Like right now. I really should get back to it. I always try to remember, the sooner I get finished the sooner I can read.
Ah, speaking of reading. Do you know, I haven't even opened Bad Luck and Trouble since I got home. Three reasons for that. First, I am reading The Hard Way again and I want to finish that first. Second, I was too distracted to do anything but dream before I went to see Lee Child and that put me behind on my work. Third, I am suddenly in no rush to read it. I have to wait an entire year until the next book comes out. I want to savor this one. Even so, I will not allow myself to read it until my house is shiny and clean again. So, off I go.
There is always hope.
Betty
Cleaning house is a good way to pass time if I have some thinking to do. It is pretty much mindless work and it encourages thought. One quirk I have about cleaning is that I have to have music playing. I would be interested to know what other people do while they clean. My mother always has the television on, for the noise. My husband seems to enjoy quiet when he is working (tends to make it difficult for us both to be contented). I have considered using my MP3 player when we are both in the house working, but that doesn't happen very often and when it does I try to play something he likes on the whole house stereo.
When there are other people about when I am cleaning, I think I must drive them mad. I am a very poky worker. My view is, why hurry? I have all the time I need to finish the job, no matter how long it takes. Consequently, I take many breaks. Like right now. I really should get back to it. I always try to remember, the sooner I get finished the sooner I can read.
Ah, speaking of reading. Do you know, I haven't even opened Bad Luck and Trouble since I got home. Three reasons for that. First, I am reading The Hard Way again and I want to finish that first. Second, I was too distracted to do anything but dream before I went to see Lee Child and that put me behind on my work. Third, I am suddenly in no rush to read it. I have to wait an entire year until the next book comes out. I want to savor this one. Even so, I will not allow myself to read it until my house is shiny and clean again. So, off I go.
There is always hope.
Betty
Friday, June 1, 2007
The Subjective Truth
We, as a society, place a high value on truth. I believe myself to be a person of truth, I think honesty is the highest character trait we can can possess. But, am I really a truthful person? The issue of honesty is extremely important to me at this juncture in my life. The lack of honesty in family members and other people I have known through the years is the primary excuse I use for closing myself away from the world. Do I, have I protested so loudly I was unable to hear the false note in my own speech?
There are, in my opinion and experience, versions of the truth. The truth really is subjective. I can not begin to tell you how many times my husband and I have been sitting side by side and heard or saw two completely different things. It does boggle my mind. We are, each of us, convinced our own version is the truth, we can not be swayed. What madness this? These days, when I am certain of something I stick to it like glue. How do people deal with two versions of the same story? Actually I think there must be three versions of the truth; mine, yours and the real truth. Our way of dealing with the problem is to declare a draw. It is the best way, that way we are both right.
What of feelings? I tell you now, if there is any way to avoid hurting someone else's feelings I will. I have lied, omitted particulars, avoided the subject; why I have even gone so far as to avoid the person in question. I am notorious for not answering my phone. Shoot the thing, I say. Who needs a phone? Sorry, that is a topic for another day.
I must be afraid of hurting my own feelings. I am avoiding the main point. There really is no point in hurting someone if no harm will be done in giving them a reprieve. But, that is the only real justifiable reason to lie that I can think of at the moment, though even this exception has limits. And here is the conundrum. Why, if we as a society place such a high value on honesty, do we perpetually lie and mislead each other? If the answer to that is because it is human nature, then I am sorry to say I will continue my semi-reclusive lifestyle. I'll brave the hurts of the world when Lee Child is near enough to see or when something interests me, but for the most part I will stay at home and live on my own terms. Better for all concerned, I think.
Silly isn't it? The things a person thinks about while cleaning the bathroom :).
There is always hope.
Betty
There are, in my opinion and experience, versions of the truth. The truth really is subjective. I can not begin to tell you how many times my husband and I have been sitting side by side and heard or saw two completely different things. It does boggle my mind. We are, each of us, convinced our own version is the truth, we can not be swayed. What madness this? These days, when I am certain of something I stick to it like glue. How do people deal with two versions of the same story? Actually I think there must be three versions of the truth; mine, yours and the real truth. Our way of dealing with the problem is to declare a draw. It is the best way, that way we are both right.
What of feelings? I tell you now, if there is any way to avoid hurting someone else's feelings I will. I have lied, omitted particulars, avoided the subject; why I have even gone so far as to avoid the person in question. I am notorious for not answering my phone. Shoot the thing, I say. Who needs a phone? Sorry, that is a topic for another day.
I must be afraid of hurting my own feelings. I am avoiding the main point. There really is no point in hurting someone if no harm will be done in giving them a reprieve. But, that is the only real justifiable reason to lie that I can think of at the moment, though even this exception has limits. And here is the conundrum. Why, if we as a society place such a high value on honesty, do we perpetually lie and mislead each other? If the answer to that is because it is human nature, then I am sorry to say I will continue my semi-reclusive lifestyle. I'll brave the hurts of the world when Lee Child is near enough to see or when something interests me, but for the most part I will stay at home and live on my own terms. Better for all concerned, I think.
Silly isn't it? The things a person thinks about while cleaning the bathroom :).
There is always hope.
Betty
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