Pretentious Protestations

Years ago, when I was young enough, pretentious enough, to believe my voiceful protestations concerning morality, I was certain I was above reproach. I had (and still do) a strong sense of right and wrong. Everything in my world was clearly black and white. Now I believe just as firmly there are gray areas, huge gaping holes in nearly every issue. I wonder, is it age or cataracts that have distorted my view. What brought all that on? Heavens, I don't know. I woke up in a bit of a funk this morning. One thing I have come to face straight on about myself is that I really am quite a serious person. Oh I love to laugh. I can see the humor in most things. I just can't seem to help myself, I take everything at face value. Many times I have missed a joke or not understood what I saw or heard was intended to be funny. Face value. I used to look at that particular character trait as a negative. Not so sure it is a negative now. Appearances mattered to me, back in the day. What other people thought, had or had not, in general, how I was perceived mattered a great deal to me. At this juncture in my life I must confess I am no longer pretentious enough to care enough about other peoples impressions to make the effort of convincing them. I really am all muddled today. Best to wait a few hours to continue this I think. Betty.