Despair and Depression

It is my sincere hope that I never again visit the dark and treacherous places my soul has wandered in these last few weeks. I have struggled mightily adapting to new medications while enduring the agony of migraines and trigeminal neuralgia pain. The three combined were responsible for sending me on a trip into the deepest, darkest depths of depression and despair that I have ever known. Depression is a terrible thing; depression alone is devastating. Had it not been for some compassionate people I found on line who were willing to befriend me, I am not sure I would be here to write this post today. In fact, I am fairly certain that I would not. And that is the topic of today's post, coping with depression.

As I am in no way qualified to offer professional advice or help to someone who might be experiencing a personal crisis, I would not consider posting such a grave topic without providing links to some of the places I found helpful during my time of despair. First and foremost if you are or know of a suicidal teenager call the Covenant House NineLine @ 1-800-999-9999, they WANT to help you. Suicidal adults should call 1-800-273-8255 (TALK). The following links are available to all of us: Walkers in Darkness - Support and information for mood disorders (depression, bipolar disorder & related mental illness) , WebMD Crisis Resources Links , Depression Booklets Online From Healthtouch ,NIMH · Depression · Complete Publication , No Stigma - It's Not Your Fault and Depression Is A Treatable Illness, and The Samaritans. There are many more options out there; the most important thing to do if you or someone you know is suffering from depression is to get help. Talk to someone, you deserve to feel better and with the proper help you will. If you know someone who is depressed, encourage him or her to get help. You will not regret taking the time to help a friend; every life is precious.

The older I get the more I see that age really has very little to do with it, it being nearly everything actually. Depression doesn't care if you are six or sixty; it is an illness that does not discriminate. We think nothing of running to the doctor if we can't shake a cold but for some reason we are reluctant to see our doctor and tell them that we are depressed and ask for medication or counseling or whatever would be best in our case. It makes absolutely no sense to me in this day and age when our children see commercials for Viagra and feminine what not's that we should be embarrassed to talk about depression. It is an illness and it is treatable. Those same children who are being bombarded with those commercials suffer from depression just as deeply (perhaps more deeply) than their adult counterparts. Oftentimes they do not have (or are not aware of) the same resources available to them and fear ridicule not only from their contemporaries but from adults as well. Places like Covenant House always take teens seriously.

From my personal point of view I have to confess I ran to the phone the day I knew I was in trouble and pleaded with my doctor to phone in a prescription (we knew depression was a possible side effect risk of the new medication) and then I went straight to the internet looking for help. I really needed a life line to hold on to and a compassionate ear to listen. All I can say is that it hit me like a ton of bricks out of the blue and that if it had not been for some compassionate people I am fairly certain that at the very least I would have done myself serious injury. Yes, it was that bad. Quite frankly, I am still quivering at the thought of what a near thing it was. That behavior is so far out of the realm of my usual behavior that looking back I can barely recognize myself. The cause is clear enough, always being in pain and the new medication but my goodness, to what devastating effect. Admittedly, I waited longer than I should have to ask my doctor for anti-depressants. There were warning signs that I ignored, I was downright sad and weepy, I had lost interest in virtually everything around me and I was so tired most of the time it was an effort to brush my teeth. So why did I put off getting the help I obviously needed? I suppose for the same reason most people do, intellectually I know that depression is a treatable illness but I was embarrassed to admit that it was effecting me.

Another point to make for those of you who may be unfamiliar with the murky depths of the depressed mind speaking strictly from personal experience and research, a person who is haunted with depression may not be functioning at a normal level of awareness. It may sound obvious to some you but it came as a bit of a surprise to me when on reflection I realized I had on several occasions wandered aimlessly through the house trying to recall what I was looking for only to discover it must have been a glass of water or some such.

Depression is a terrible thing and medication takes time to build up to effective levels in the bloodstream, but with a little support and care, you will begin to feel better. I am beginning to, finally.

There is always hope.