Sidelined

I am sidelined from exercise, no walking or exercising for few days. If I am honest I have to admit that in a way it is a bit of a relief. It’s kind of a struggle to breathe at the moment but that will soon be fixed, I am taking some good antibiotics and steroids. The only problem with the good drugs is that they are causing a good amount of pain and I am having a rough night. It’s 2:45 am. Oh well, all things come round in the end. I’ll be fine soon enough, just listen to me whine. I am merely miserable, not suffering, people with serious illnesses suffer, I am not in that category, thank God.

So I am looking forward to a good Wednesday, I know it is going to be a glorious day. We will be feeding our garden and cutting fresh lettuce for salad. Oh my word! We grow the best tasting lettuce I have ever had in my entire life! It really is awesome. It’s all due to the care Don took in amending the soil and preparing our garden for planting and of course we are feeding our precious food lots of Miracle Grow. I really can’t wait for the tomatoes to come in and the spaghetti squash, yum.

I’ve spent the last couple of hours culling out some of my old files and cleaning up things that should have been deleted. I have read many things that were written in my dark days; they were indeed dark days. As I read some of those things I cannot believe that person was really me. I was so full of despair, so hopeless…I can only thank God and Don for saving me. Anyway, I’ve dumped a large portion of that suffering, I have given it to the Lord, I don’t want it anymore. However…I did save one very dark poem I wrote, I am sure it isn’t very good but I kind of like it because it does end with what I feel is a positive note. You decide;

The Spirit Fades

Please my children, turn your eyes and do not watch
As despair savages my soul.
The bleak blackness that sucks from the light all thought.
Quivering, quaking threads of hope lay cowering,
Shrinking, beating out a fading tattoo.
To late my children, you have stood too near and watched me die.
Quickly now my children, take this gift this last gently pulsing
Timid glow, shelter it nourish it encourage it to grow.
Softly I breathe, tenderly my children, you have in your hands my soul.

Well I like it. It is in the end a message of renewal. There is always hope.