About 25 years ago or so my mother-in-law told me that she had done her living and she was waiting to die. I thought that was sad. 25 years ago my mother-in-law was 60 years old; I am 56 years old now and I hate to admit it but until recently I have been feeling that same way. My mantra each day on rising and several times through the day I would say to myself that I wanted to die. I thought of my mother-in-law and thought, you are in for a very long wait because life is way too long for people like us.
What happened? I really don’t know but I am working from the premise that it was the power of prayer that finally lead me into the light.
Last year, a friend and a woman of Faith was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. To say she was a friend is to simple a word for what she represented in my life; she stood a step above most others, she was washed in the light of the Lord. She was a true gift to those of us she touched. The list of things she did for me is long; the last thing she did was bring me back to the light. Her name was Colleen Theusch, I miss her and I thank her very much. When I heard how sick Colleen was I did something that I had not done in a very long time, I prayed. As dark as my world was, as shattered as my spirit had been, not even then did I pray, I was unworthy, that’s how I felt. I would not pray for me but I did pray for Colleen. I prayed many times a day and I was very specific in my prayers, the more I prayed the more I added to my prayers, there were others that I loved who needed help. In the end, Colleen passed on but I continued to pray and it was, I am sure the praying that brought me back to the light.
Slowly, by small degrees my life has opened before me and it is beautiful. I have been gifted with a loving husband and friends and a home that is beautiful and safe and I no longer live in fear. There is nothing I want for or need because I have God lighting the path before my feet. Life is good and I hope I live a very long time. There is always hope.
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