No More Morose Neurontin

Morose; that would be the word I would use to describe the way I feel. And angry, as in it doesn’t take much these days to completely exasperate me. Should I go on and add in confused and frustrated and forgetful and determined to do something about it? Well, I am. Probably not (regrettably) until after the holidays and even then not without Don to help me; but I will do something about it. Namely, I am going to insist that my neurologist take me off of Neurontin and find something else to help with the migraines and trigeminal neuralgia.

Do you know the last time I was on Neurontin my neurologist sent me for counseling because I was depressed? At the time I suspected the Neurontin but there were other factors to consider as well; a history of depression, recently losing my job due to illness and a serious accident that left me with a broken shoulder among other things. All of those things were legitimate reasons to run not walk to a psychiatrist, and I did. But this time, this time I know darned well that all of these emotional problems (well, at least most of them) can be a direct cause of Neurontin. I just logged off http://www.rxlist.com/ where I researched that dread drug and confirmed my fears. Actually depression, though a certified side effect, as well as anger and countless other unpleasant things, has a fairly rare occurrence rate; or so they say. In my case, I am not depressed in a suicidal way but rather in a way that has more to do with perception. I may know I love Christmas but I am having a hard time feeling it. I am easily confused and forgetful and irritated with myself and everyone I come in contact with. I am not motivated to write or read or listen to music, I have no desire to do anything, that is the form my depression has taken.

One of the problems with Neurontin is that you cannot simply stop taking it. It has to be tapered down slowly and carefully to avoid dire complications. Don has got to go in with me when I see the neurologist next month and help me, should I falter, to convince the doctor to take me off of that terrible stuff. I want my happy, if sometimes lonely, life back. Life is for living and I refuse to sit back in a numb, lethargic haze and be a spectator!

I do hope to have something a little brighter to share with you next time. You know, winter is well and truly here in Ohio. We have had our first real snow, meaning it could or should have been shoveled (Don has a way of knowing just how long he can let it go before we are likely to get stuck in the drive). There has been sleet and cold wind, all the players are here and it is beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

There is always hope.

Betty