A New Perspective

I find it fascinating, the way our preconceptions, perspectives and priorities can change in the blink of an eye. One moment we can be tooling along, a jaunty grin lurking around the corners of our mouths and the next we stop dead in our tracks; the grin replaced by jaw dropping incredulity that we are human and not, as we supposed, immortal. Further, that though we have the knowledge and power to prevent or at least reduce the risks or the severity of those things that would threaten our fragile mortality, we often recognize the problem too late. How then do we find ourselves in this position? When did we make the decision to ignore all common sense and caution and do the exact opposite of what we know to be the healthy and wisest course? In addition, the result of that less than responsible behavior is the undeniable truth that we have put ourselves in jeopardy of becoming at best disabled and at worst dead! We are fallible and the sooner we recognize that fact the sooner we can maneuver ourselves back to the center of the straight and narrow path of life. Back to the safety and surety of the trek trodden so successfully by so many before us; back to the comfort of company of friends and family.


All of that senseless prattle and pretentious posturing has a point. I have been debating exactly what I wanted to say in this post since last Friday. It is difficult and I am not precisely sure why that is. I have been open and honest about personal things here in the past and I found it comforting to express my feelings and concerns. Since I can think of no way to gently reveal the latest development in my long slow slide down; I will just say it. I had a MRI of the brain last week. The results show that I have had several small strokes. NO! There is no need to be overly concerned; but given the problems I have had controlling headaches and Trigeminal Neuralgia my neurologist has referred me to the Cleveland Clinic. WHAT! Well now, that’s something to think about and make no mistake about it.

First item; I am so lucky. I know I am and I cannot begin to imagine all of the truly terrible things a MRI of the brain could have shown. God is truly carrying me right now and I am so grateful for that. Second, just because I have been referred to Cleveland Clinic it doesn’t mean there is some mysterious and fatal problem that only they can handle. Though I do give myself a nod of sympathy due to the fact that the last time I was referred to Columbus University the surgeon found a large and rare tumor that my local hospital somehow missed. Intellectually I know nothing like that will happen this time, it’s just that I have a very vivid imagination and well, the mind will wonder.

I have decided that I will not have another small stroke. I am, as of Monday on a 700 calorie a day diet. I will walk every day for at least 45 minutes and I will not have a big stroke.


There is always hope.

A Marshmallow World

I awoke to a marshmallow world this morning. My back yard was a wonderland of deep drifts and sweeping branches tufted in a powdery splendor that can only be seen in late winter. I have always thought that late winter snows somehow attempt to convey sadness in their beauty. It seems, to me at least, that these snows are desperate to leave us with an impression of graceful beauty and serene majesty. It is almost as if they are trying to impress upon us a memory of cozy sleepy lie-ins and hot chocolate laced snow days. All of these impressions are, of course, as fickle as fairies and twice as hard to catch; nevertheless I stand firmly resolute in the conviction that they are, to me, a fanciful version of the world I see; a world where winter tries to exit in our good graces by providing one last spectacular show of the glory of snow.

My flighty version of a cold and wet late winter day is, I doubt not, at odds with Don’s firmly landed first hand account of the conditions outside our window; though he does on occasion surprise me with a brief yet fanciful view that parallels my own and when he does, it delights me. He left the house not long ago, loaded down with PB&J sandwiches, sugar free pudding and drinks for the indoor track team. They have a meet this evening and it is difficult to address their nutritional needs any other way than with very portable food that is, for the most part provided by the parents.

In closing, here is another random Betty thought. If I could be one “thing” I believe I would like to be a musical note because a single note of music will always be a part of something.

There is always hope.

Blow Me To Burmuda!

It has to be said, I really do not like winter! I find it hard to believe that once upon a time I looked forward to snow and ice and cold. What was I thinking? As Merlin said in The Sword In The Stone, "Blow me to Bermuda!" you can say that again. It's the cold you see, if I could just have a little more warmth and a lot less cold I would be fine. If I ever win the lottery (sadly, I don't play) I am moving somewhere that never gets cooler than 60 for a daytime high. Oh, to dream :-)

Because I am as frozen as a Popsicle (sounds like a valid excuse to me) I have done absolutely nothing for days now. LAZY that's what the cold makes me. I believe the technical term is hibernation. I must, in a previous life, have been a bear. Not a mean growling bear; a tubby contented bear who liked laying in the sun and eating nuts and berries and honey and chasing butterflies (and the occasional human, just for fun) and climbing trees. Yes, that is most definitely the kind of bear I was. Oh -- and I lived in a warm climate.

Back to the here and now. I guess I should trundle back down the hall and make a pot of decaf. Don will be home from his 10 mile run soon. What a man he is, going out into that cold! Maybe he'll inspire me to get back to walking now that my poor broken toes are all better.

There is always hope.

Betty

The Hobbit Central

Have you heard about The Hobbit movies? At last, well the release is not imminent (2010 and 2011) but they are going to happen! That’s right, they. Apparently the powers that be (including Peter Jackson and Fran Walsh as producers) have decided to make two movies. I am not qualified to speculate on the break down of the story lines, who can say how it will all come about. I am just so excited!

I have found a couple of places where people are talking and speculating about what will happen, who the cast will be and so on. They are great sources if you are interested in The Hobbit. First is The Hobbit Official Movie Blog http://www.thehobbitblog.com/ and then there is Hobbit Central http://www.hobbitcentral.com/smf/index.php. These are both fairly new sites and you need to know that though they do not at the moment have an abundance of information (no one does yet) they are building a base and as they glean information they pass it along. Hobbit Central has a really great forum.

Guillermo Del Toro has been announced as director for both films. He has directed Pans Labyrinth, and Hellboy and more. He certainly seems to understand the genre. It will be fascinating to watch him and Peter Jackson working together.

If you are a Tolkien fan these are indeed exciting times.

There is always hope.

Betty

American Politics

Am I the only person in this country who is feed up with politics? I really don’t believe that I am, though I must be in the minority. Frankly I am sick to death of having our so called “news” providers dictate to me how and what to think, who to vote for and what cause I should or should not support. CNN is firmly and unabashedly liberal and highly supportive of most things touted by the Democratic Party; while FOX News is unashamedly conservative and supports most issues dear to the Republican Party. Watching or reading the news has become an exercise in political science and I for one have no desire to know every television or print reporters personal views on the political game called American Politics. I believe it has become impossible to make an informed political decision based on information gleaned from the press and that is indeed unfortunate because even in this wondrous age of modern technology; this is still a very big country and there are those of us who find it difficult, if not impossible to attend political functions and rallies. Apparently the all powerful press has decided it is not obligated to report the facts and give us the opportunity to decide for ourselves where we stand on the issues.

Those of you who know me will, I am sure, be a little surprised that I even have a political view. For me it isn’t (at this stage) who I will vote for, it has more to do with what I will vote for when the time comes. March 4, (insert the appropriate date for your state) is a very important day in Ohio and I encourage everyone to vote. If you would go to the polls as an informed and responsible citizen your best source of information is, in my opinion, the internet; and even here you have got to exercise caution, as we Americans are a highly opinionated lot and never afraid to express our views. I suppose the bottom line on the subject is that those of us who are feed up with the press have our work cut out for us in the months ahead. Unfortunately to my knowledge, there is no single reliable source for news (political or otherwise) and if it is the truth we are seeking we shall have to find it for ourselves, Grasshopper.

Well, I feel better for having got that off my chest.

There is always hope.

Betty

Searching For A Resolution

What, I asked myself, will you make as your New Year’s resolution? It has been my rule in the last few years not to make resolutions, after all, I reasoned, why set a goal that is practically guaranteed to fail. It all seemed a little silly to me. I honestly cannot recall ever having made a New Year’s resolution that I actually kept and still, for some inexplicable reason I feel compelled to make them. This year I decided that making a resolution not to make a resolution was, well… a little too eccentric even for me. Choice; either make a resolution or ignore the impulse, decision; make one.

I have decided that 2008 is the year that I matter. What I think, feel, want and need are important and I have got to remember that. No wonder people treat me as a second thought and find it easy to disregard my opinion and feelings. If I don’t value myself no one else will value me; and all that other prattle you read about in the self-help books. Part of my resolution is that every day I will do at least one thing that is important to me or something that I want to do. I got off to a good start New Year’s Day, I watched Return of The King. I have wanted to watch that movie (well actually all of the Lord of the Rings movies) for ages. I also plan to continue with meditation; my hope is that I will somehow (in my drugged fog) find my center and then be able to view the world with more kindly eyes. I am convinced that if there were more compassion and kindness in the world many of our problems would cease to exist.

Today I hope (with Don’s help) to get the house set back to rights; Christmas decorations put away and the excess culled out and sent on to Good Will. This evening, I think I’ll watch one of my “Chick Flicks” while Don is out practicing with his kids. Ah, so many possibilities!

There is always hope.

Betty

Is There No Justice?

Just a quick post to bring you up to speed on how the holidays went here. Christmas was, dismal. Don came down with the stomach flu on Sunday afternoon and by by Christmas Eve I too had moved into the bathroom (upstairs, he had the downstairs) and was incapable of more than groaning. I admit that in this instance I have no sense of humor. There is no justice. It is unfair that I had only just begun to feel better from one bug and then was nailed by another.

At any rate; since I am posting this you must know that I am at last back on the mend

There is always hope.

Betty